I love you, not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you

I love you, not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you

Saturday, January 30, 2010

An Answer

Awhile ago I started a radiology program, I eventually quit my job at Time Warner to pursue my schooling and my student debt went from almost nonexistent to substantial loans. Then I realized, I hated being a rad tech and after a lot of tears I quit the program. Most people know I was bitter over the whole ordeal. I didn't understand why it felt so right when I prayed about it for it to turn out the way it did. I quickly found a great job that has pointed me in the direction I wanted to go in, but I was still bitter.
I prayed a lot, I felt like I was entitled to the answer of why I felt I needed to quit my job and go into school for the rad program. For some reason I felt the answer of finding my current job of office manager wasn't good enough, I felt like there was more to it. So I prayed for a long time and became more frustrated that I never got an answer. I eventually stopped praying about it and chalked it up to, my prayers weren't being heard or Heavenly Father just didn't care how I felt about this issue. It is something that has always simmered beneath the surface and has made it difficult for me to pray about things for awhile because I felt like he didn't care.
Today I feel like I got the whole answer to something that has bothered me for a long time. I received a text message from a co-worker who still works there saying they are shutting down the entire division I used to work for and everyone is being laid off in April. I know that had I not gone into the program I would probably still be working for Time Warner and this post would be very different. It would have been about joining the ranks of people who had lost their job and the hopeless situation of finding a new one along with thousands of other people in the Denver area. Had I not gone to school I would not have found the job I work now and I would be very lost in where to go to next. But I have a great job and I know what I want to go back to school for and FINALLY finish my degree and I finally can let my bitterness go. I am beginning to understand more and more about prayer and that we are not just left to fend for ourselves. I just need to learn that things will not be done on my timeline, I'm not sure if I will ever learn that lesson :)

1 comment:

Deny, Jenn, Marek, and RyAnna said...

I am so happy that you got your answer. I knew that in time you would and that things turn out the way they should. I am glad that you know what to go back to school in. That is one thing I have not felt that I have the real answer to. Best of luck my friend.