I love you, not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you

I love you, not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Facts of Life

Recently we have had events in our lives that has really made me think about what I want in life. We are leaving Thursday so we can spend a weekend with my step-grandpa Frank, it will probably be the last time we will see him in this life as he has not been doing very well. I haven't talked about it much basically because I hate the conversations you have when you tell people someone in your family is dieing, it basically goes, "I'm sorry that sucks......." followed by a long awkward pause because really what do you say to a person in that situation? Nothing ever seems good enough. It has given me time to reflect on what this man means to me since he came into my life when I was a teenager by marrying my grandma. It is no secret I did not like him much at first, I thought he was grumpy and it was tough for me to adjust going to HIS house to see my grandma. But through the years as I have watched him and my grandma and the way that he truly accepted her family as his own I have been impressed by many things which I would like to incorporate into my own life. I think everyday I hope that something will happen I hope that the doctors will do a test and find out that somehow he has been cured and that he will be around for years to come. But that is not the case and time marches on becoming the greatest enemy. All I can do as I watch helplessly is hope that when I am old and gray I can look back on my life and be proud of who I am, what I have done, and how I have change people's lives. I have watched how much him and my grandma have accomplished in 9 1/2 years of marriage and I know that if they can serve multiple missions, travel the world, and be there for their family I have big shoes to fill.
This weekend will be hard as I know that when the weekend comes to a close I will have to say goodbye to someone who has made a difference in my life. I can only hope I can take into account the lessons I have learned from him and make a difference in people's life just as he has done in mine.
Grandpa I love you.